I have asked myself this question so many times.

For instance, when my husband and I were driving to a ministry engagement in England and ended up “lost in Sherwood Forest,” as he likes to say.

Or, when my friend and I got separated from our missions team on a shopping day in Bangkok. We were nervous, and it took a little while to find the group, but we took some amazing pictures!

And, definitely during my scariest “where am I” moment. I was doing evangelistic subterfuge in a closed country in the middle of the night and missed my team at the meet up point. I had to find my way back to the hotel, ALONE, without being detained by armed patrol. It took me hours.

Yet, I find the most uncomfortable “where am I” moments revolve around change in the seasons of my life, not my actual location.

There are times when I feel like I need to make a change or do something new. I want to get somewhere but I don’t really know where that is because it’s not a physical destination. A physical destination is defined: church, the airport, grandma’s house, etc. Even when I want to just “go for a ride” with no destination in mind, at some point I am ready to go home and home is a definable destination.

So, while a travel journey speaks to the free spirit vagabond side of my heart, the journey of life is far more consequential.

My life journey is daily directing me to a destination; the future. MY future.

The route I take determines my intimacy with God, my relationship with family and friends, my connection to Jesus in the world around me and the plans and purposes for which I have been created. I can feel the weight of this in my heart; not in the free spirit vagabond side, but in the spirit controlled pilgrim side. Yet, I cannot pinpoint this destination on the map of my life.

So, uncomfortably I wonder, “Where am I?”

And suddenly I sense that ever familiar warmth in my belly, that deep sigh of relief in my soul. It’s the peace that washes over me when faith rises up. Faith that’s rooted in my childhood encounters with the love of God. Faith that’s been built through the successes and failures of my personal walk with Christ. Faith that understands my human mind’s needs, yet floods my heart with a knowing I don’t yet understand.

Proverbs 16:9 in The Passion Translation states, “Within your heart you can make plans for your future, but the Lord chooses the steps you take to get there.”

So, it really doesn’t matter where I am; only that I keep myself close to God who loves me and has every step prepared for me in just the right season.